Reflections: Lessons from cats and grandkids

What do my grandkids, my cat, and I have in common? Well, for one thing, we all need boundaries in order to function safely and at our best. 

Over Thanksgiving weekend, my husband and I enjoyed plenty of family time, albeit a little spread out with our three adult kids having different schedules. We loved being with our three adorable grandchildren at area attractions and in our home, leading to the realization that 1) we are not as young and flexible as we used to be, and 2) our son and daughter-in-law are doing a masterful job. We couldn’t be prouder of how they manage jobs and church ministry while homeschooling a six-year-old, keeping up with a three-year-old who asks deeper questions than some high school students, and chasing little Gil, who has progressed amazingly through his preemie challenges. At 20 months, he finds and opens anything that can be opened—cabinets, fizzy drink cans, the cat food—and gets across the room much faster than I do. 

Which leads to the subject of boundaries: While there are household rules and the kids are generally obedient, they haven’t reached the point of making entirely good decisions on their own; they don’t think about the risks of dashing off at Silver Dollar City without a grownup or chasing a toy too close to the downward step into Nana’s family room. They need boundaries, just as my kids did years ago, with responsibility gradually shifting to practice good decisions and, yes, learn some things the hard way. The grandkids also learned that while my cat, Dexter, is generally friendly and playful, he doesn’t take kindly to sudden invasions of his nap space. 

As for Dexter, he enjoys the outdoors, but is not allowed outside unsupervised unless he’s on a tether close to the house. I don’t want him to be a nuisance in people’s flower beds, but also, our neighborhood is close to the lake, with shoreline trees housing a population of hawks and eagles. I know the danger, but the cat is likely preoccupied with ground-level pursuits (literally), not thinking about the danger of being pursued himself or being hit by a car. He’s a smart cat, but boundaries help keep him safe from things he may not even know about. 

And then there’s me, and every other human. Adam and Eve were given boundaries, but their yielding to temptation led to problems for all of us. Israel suffered consequences from violating God’s command not to dabble in pagan religious practices. Many Proverbs emphasize the importance of avoiding risky situations. The Bible gives guidelines for moral purity, faithful marriage, financial management, and more, and our experience and observations have taught us there are reasons for those boundaries. 

An extended family member, who has struggled with alcoholism, recently shared that she now has boundaries, developed with help from a respected recovery ministry. She is careful about where to go for fun, and with whom, to avoid temptation and possible unwise choices. She is growing spiritually as she learns to enjoy fellowship in safe ways that honor God and protect her from consequences. 

We are created by a loving God who wants the best for each of us. As we navigate a fallen world with many risks, accepting and paying attention to God’s boundaries can help us enjoy life and achieve his good plans for us.