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Writer's pictureHeather Haygood

Love and limiting beliefs

What are limiting beliefs? A limiting belief is a thought or a state of mind that you think is absolute truth and prevents you from doing and/or enjoying certain aspects of life. These negative beliefs can pertain to personal, financial, interpersonal and many other aspects of your life. Often these beliefs are easy to identify as they are thoughts that consistently run through our mind. Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper than surface thoughts to expose a negative belief that may be impacting our life. 


Your limiting beliefs about love are a combination of what you learned in childhood and an accumulation of your experiences throughout your life. Some examples of limiting beliefs about love might be, “I am unlovable,” “Everyone leaves,” “Men are untrustworthy,” “Women are too emotional,” and “Relationships rob you of your freedom.”


Have you heard of the yellow car phenomenon? This theory is the idea that the more you focus on a thing, the more of that thing you will see/experience.  If I hold a core belief for instance that all men are cheaters while I am dating and continue to find myself in situations with dishonest men, I may need to take a step back and assess my belief system to figure out why I continue to have the same experience. 


One way to expose your own limiting beliefs would be to pay very close attention to your thoughts throughout the day and write down your consistent negative thoughts. Another way to expose limiting beliefs would be to fill in the blank with because and an answer. Some examples of this method might be, “I can’t find love because… Nothing works for me because.” What you write after because will be a clue to your own negative beliefs. You can also combine the two methods. Capture the negative thought, write it down with because and your reason why. 

After exposing your limiting beliefs, you need to address and replace them. In my personal experience, the most effective way to rid yourself of a limiting belief is to replace it with a true statement. I address this in my book, “The Love Journey.”


One of the ways I personally overcame my own limiting beliefs was using affirmations. “Think of affirmations as a sort of reprogramming of your mind. Our thoughts become belief systems, which become words that frame and affirm our lives, which then become the little everyday choices/actions we build our existence on.”  (Excerpt from The Love Journey). My own personal limiting belief was that I was unlovable. My counter to that thought was “I was made to love and be loved.”


What are your limiting beliefs and how are they keeping you from experiencing the fullness of love?


If you have been enjoying my articles, please visit hshaygood.com and click The Love Journey tab to order your copy of my new book and sign up for my inspirational emails. I keep emails fresh and different from my weekly Globe articles.

 

“Love is a journey not a destination.”

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