When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive. -Nelson Mandela
What is the alternative? Bitterness, anger, resentment, unforgiveness? None of these sound like a good option to me. A long time ago, I heard someone say that “unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” During that time, I was bitter. I had been the walking wounded for so long. I was also very tired. I spent so much time and effort trying to right the wrongs in my life.
There is a common misconception about forgiveness…forgiving means that we forget and go back to things as they once were. This is not true. We use unforgiveness as a stronghold to protect us from more pain. In truth the same stronghold that keeps us from being wounded also keeps us from being fully loved. Walking in unforgiveness towards one person is like removing your left hand from the fire and thrusting it into cool water while keeping the right hand firmly in the fire. You can never enjoy the benefit of the water on the left unless you also remove the right. The pain is too distracting.
Forgiveness means that you are letting go. You are not attached to the outcome. You are releasing yourself from the pain of affliction. There are circumstances in our lives that are so black and so wrong we cannot begin to understand why another person could wound us so. But if you choose to stay in a state of unforgiveness you are also choosing to let the very thing that hurt you continue to have power over you. Think about that. Every single day that you hide behind your fortress of unforgiveness you are allowing the events of the past to control you. It is changing you. You are keeping your heart closed.
Letting go is not easy. However, I promise if you choose to let go, you will find peace. Choosing to walk in forgiveness gives you the power back. The walking wounded has now become the victor. The new message you are sending out into the world is that of, “I once was wounded and I allowed those wounds to keep me prisoner to the past, but now I am choosing healing and wholeness, and no offense of the past can keep me from my future. I win.”
Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong, it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free. -Dave Willis
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“Love is a journey not a destination.”
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