WRITTEN BY ALICE ELLSWORTH, Tiffany’s mother
October 5: Today my life began. My parents don’t even know it yet. I am smaller than the seed of an apple, but already I am me. And unformed as I am now, I’m going to be a girl. I shall have brown hair and aqua eyes, and I know I love flowers.
October 19: I’ve grown a little but I’m still too small to do anything by myself. Mother does about everything for me. And what’s funny is she still doesn’t know that she is carrying me here right under her heart, and feeding me with her own blood.
October 23: My mouth is just beginning now. Just think, in a year or so I’ll be laughing, and later I will be able to speak. I know what my first word will be…mother! Who says I’m not a person yet? I am just as the tiniest crumb of bread, but I am truly alive!
Oct 27: My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it will gently beat all the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest. Then after many years it will tire and stop and I shall die. But now I am not the ending but the beginning.
November 2: Every day I grow a bit. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape, but I’ll have to wait so long before my little legs can carry me running to my mother’s arms, and before my arms can embrace my father.
November 12: Now my tiny fingers are beginning to take shape. Strange how small they are yet how wonderful they will be. They’ll pet a puppy, throw a ball, pick a flower, and touch another hand. My fingers! Someday they may play a violin or paint a picture.
November 20: Today the doctor told my mother for the first time that I’m living here under her heart. Aren’t you happy, Mother? Before long I will be in your arms!
November 25: My mother and father don’t even know that I am a little girl yet. Perhaps they expect a boy, or even twins. But I’ll surprise them! I want to be called Catherine…just like my mother.
December 10: My face is completely formed. I hope I look like my mother.
December 13: Now I’m just about able to see, but it’s dark all around me. Soon my eyes will open on the world of sunshine…and flowers…and little children. I’ve never seen the sea, or mountains, or a rainbow either. How do they really look? How do you really look, Mother?
December 26: Mother, I can hear your heart beating. I wonder if you hear the whispering beat of mine. It’s so even. You’ll have a healthy little daughter, Mother. I know that some babies have difficulty entering the world, but I can hardly wait to be in your arms, touch your face, look into your eyes. You’re waiting for me just as I am waiting for you.
December 28: Mother, why did you let them stop my life? We would have had such a lovely time together…
Overwhelmed by an unexpected pregnancy? There is help and support for you!
In Stone County, call or visit Pregnancy Lifeline: 19621 State Hwy 413 Branson West, MO 65737. Phone: 417-272-5211 Website: pregnancylifeline.com. In Taney County, call or visit Options Pregnancy Clinic: 192 Expressway Lane, Branson, MO, 65616. Phone: 417-336-5483. Website: optionspregnancyclinic.com.
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