He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. Isaiah 53:7
Occasionally, we all have to be around people who purposely try to make us feel like we’ll never measure up. Even if we try to distance ourselves from those people, circumstances can sometimes inevitably bring them near to us again. I had one such experience recently, and the person – who I used to be very close to – didn’t fail to perform. She overheard me mention to my son that I would be graduating from college soon and that I hoped he would be able to attend the commencement ceremony. Without missing a beat, she started talking about how her daughter had so many degrees that she doesn’t even attend her commencement ceremonies anymore and that, to her daughter, it was just another piece of paper. Instantly, I felt as though the bachelor’s degree I’ve worked so hard for – through devastating life-changes, illness and starting my own business – was worth absolutely nothing. That feeling was short-lived, though, when I considered the source and remembered why I had distanced myself from her in the past. I smiled at her and nodded, then went on to talk about other things.
I’m not writing this article to shame her. We all have faults when it comes to how we deal with others. However, this situation did make me stop and take a good look at my own heart. How easily I can allow the thoughts and opinions of others make or break my self-identity! Why do people’s compliments make me feel so much pride, while their insults make me question my worth? I believe it is because human nature searches for identity in something beyond ourselves. We long to be accepted and applauded and adored. Some of us attempt to achieve that feeling through making others feel “less-than” and some of us attempt to achieve it through hard work and accolades. However, there will always be someone better or some reason to feel like our work was for naught.
How do we get off of the emotional roller coaster of needing to feel validated? For me, the answer always comes when I take my eyes off of myself and others and look to the cross. As a follower of Jesus Christ, our true sense of identity should come from Him alone:
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2
Trophies and awards are destined to decay. People’s opinions change like the ocean waves. But when we cling to the old rugged cross and the tremendous love and sacrifice that our Savior poured out for us there, little else matters. Our identity is then wrapped up in love – the love that our Father has for us, and the love that He longs to pour out through us upon others. Love is what drove Him to the cross, love is what silenced Him amidst false accusations, love is what held Him there, and love is why He lives today! Help us, Lord, to remain steadfast, knowing that our true identity is based solely upon Your amazing love for us!
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